Walking through Sinkor in twilight, I hesitate to say it is a Magic Hour, but the throbbing fade of dusk takes some of the edge off, the cracks in the tarmac are not as desperate. The palm trees become silhouettes, and people start to blend in with the facades of the houses, protected by shadow. You can see the sweat drying on the brow of the boy with the wheelbarrow full of coconuts. Circles of conversation on the corners become more muted, people look at the ground instead of at each other; eyes become eyelids when you look at them, like people in a jazz mural. I can hear the keys on my belt clinking just underneath the roar of traffic from the distant boulevard.
Water is off again, but there is no dark stain on the bedsheet that matches my body, so I know that I have showered at least in the past few days. Feet turned to hamburger by insect bites, forearms scored and pitted by the sun, but I know that most of the time I can cleanse the pollution in the evening.
Invisible enemies and friends you can’t touch, the darkness sometimes feels persistent.
My mind sort of twists when I speak Liberian English, I can feel my brain sort of tilting sideways (that’s what it sounds like, American English at a 45 degree angle). I think I am getting it to where I can be understood, but speaking it requires my linguistic capacity to lean against the wind a bit.
This nurse…seeing her in the ocean is like watching leaves floating on the wind. I want to dive into the thick wet ruby curtain of her hair and only come up when I need air. In the kitchen, feeling the crackling static electricity of her skin close to mine, daring myself to lean in and touch my lips to her neck and shoulders. She smells like soapberries and her hair is scented with apple blossoms, like the sharp spring air in a lakeside orchard. She invades the senses, both tangibly and by the deep nature of her soul, to the point where I forget what to say next when I lightly put my hands on her hips. In the dance of her movements I see indigo and violet, I imagine chiaroscuro nights in Meknes, reflections in the basmalesque fountains of Damascus, moss-covered cliffs under plump gray clouds in Svalbard, translucent sunlight crossed with the tree roots. The soft pink lines of her lips, the gentle pomegranate-shape of her hips, her shoulders that have strained to sustain life and bring healing. The way she laughs like a jungle waterfall.
The way she laughs like a jungle waterfall, and brushes an unruly strand of strawberry hair from her cheek while she bakes. She talks as she stirs the batter, and then looks up at me with those big green eyes, like limpid emerald pools. Her shoulder brushes against mine, I can feel my heartbeat jump. I imagine walking with her at twilight somewhere near Grand Marais, barefoot in warm earth, among gnarled trees and circling nighthawks. In the fading orange haze, her eyes are luminous and bright, her freckles barely visible on her decorous nose. She rests her fingertips on my chest, I touch my fingers to her chin and gently tilt it up until her lips meet mine under the rosebud tree. Her eyelashes brush against mine, and the stars begin to emerge over our heads.
So, anyway, that kind of completes what I wrote the other night. It is Christmas Eve, and I can hear the traffic from the boulevard keeping time with the loud music. One of our suppliers sent us a Christmas basket that included a bottle of Johnny Walker Red and Gordon’s Gin, which I intend to send to Fish Town so they can celebrate New Year’s Eve in style.